OFF TRACK, ON COURSE
I've missed a lot of things in my life
Trains. Doctors Appointments. Prom. My freshman year of college. The college experience I envisioned for myself. Learning the concept of boundaries. Understanding the difference between kindness and being a people pleaser. The lesson on self confidence and self respect. I've missed them all. Nevertheless, there lies the misconception that it's far too late. A misconception that I once believed was true.
Until- it proved itself wrong.
Like most, we have all heard something along the lines of “we may not be able to change the past, but we can change the narrative for the future.” In other words, It can really only be “too late” if you let that be the case.If you really think about it, the past is never meant to be relived or dwelled upon. It can be looked back on and understood but the goal is to never have to relive it. Of course there will be times we do it anyway. It's a natural response and a known symptom of the 'past' but like every single thing in life, there is an alternative route to fight off what we may believe is inevitable. Some of those routes are those we unknowingly catch ourselves practicing day to day.
You miss the ice cream shop by five minutes,
but instead of turning back,
you drive thirty more minutes just to satisfy your craving.
Not for the dessert, really,
but for the adventures and spontaneity that pairs with it
You're ten minutes late to your Pilates class,
and still, you walk in
Despite the eyes that turn toward the door.
Because showing up late still counts as showing up,
and any movement is far better than striving for perfection.
Your favorite restaurant is booked on your birthday.
But you say yes to plan B,
because it's not the reservation that matters—
it's the people who made time for you,
who remind you you're worth celebrating,
even when the first option falls through
So no—
it's not too late
to lean into an alternative.
What you believe is a missed opportunity
is simply a reminder: That life won't always go as planned.
But that doesn’t mean
the moment is lost.
It simply means—
that sometimes,
the detour itself
becomes the memory that may or may not be the answer you’ve been looking for.
If I relived every moment in my past that didn't go the way I planned with no intention to move past it, I'd be watering a plant that got no sunlight. Life works a lot like that. You can’t expect to catch the next train if you don’t intend on getting off the one you're on. Just like you can’t expect to move on from what hurts you or holds you back without having the intention of doing so. Truth is, I relived a lot of moments from my past, so intensely that I lost sight of everything else I worked and hoped for. Hence why, it cost me my freshman year of college and the college experience I envisioned for myself. I may have never gotten the chance to mend my college experience but I did get the chance to start anew because of that very realization.The way I see it, I would rather settle for those 4 years of false positives, and missed memos than have them multiply into my next 8, or 12 or 16 years. Life demands versatility. Like almost every experience in your life, it is truly what you make of it. You could choose to dwell over your most recent rejection, give up on the sport you love based off of a few games, shy away from socializing after you got bit a few times, underestimate your ability because you let someone downplay your worth or you could be comfortable deviating with what you initially envisioned for yourself. That isn’t me saying that you should give up. You could choose to dwell over your most recent rejection, give up on the sport you love based off of a few games, shy away from socializing after you got bit a few times, underestimate your ability because you let someone downplay your worth or you could be comfortable deviating with what you initially envisioned for yourself. That isn’t me saying that you should give up. That is me saying to be accepting of a rather unexpected yet humbling visitor we refer to as change.That is me saying that life happens and when it does to be inviting of change as a newly moved in neighbour and not an intruder who’s out to get you. Change more often than not presents itself as the latter but I think we choose to undermine and overshadow its effect. Don’t get me wrong, I would probably be the first to say that change is hard and that it can be beyond frustrating, but I have also come to realize that the reason we antagonize it so much is because we fixate on how hard that change will be, how it’s going to ruin the trajectory you had planned, how its destroyed what you've spent days, months, years to build all the while failing to recognize that it’s a disguised pool of opportunities that allows you to redefine and rebuild your journey. One that still holds the same ambitions but just with another added stop and maybe some new endeavors along the way. Although change may be responsible for inflicting some hurt, disappointment, and anger temporarily, it is also responsible for your resilience, growth and tenacity. It is the reason I learnt the concept of boundaries, to have self respect and confidence within myself, and to tread lightly between being kind and a people pleaser. I’ll admit staying grounded amidst uncertainty is never easy but I would argue that at some point in your life it's necessary. Not because it gives you clarity, but because it teaches you how to keep showing up without it. Unfortunately, uncertainty will never stop being an uncomfortable visitor but it will stop being your enemy. It will eventually present itself as a mirror, the kind that helps you unlearn and relearn what it means to move forward on your own terms.
First of many 2025 takeaways: New York City Edition
Ask yourself.
Would you stay on a train knowing it’s not where you want to go?
You can stay on and convince yourself that you’re on the right one after all, or you can get off the next stop and catch the next one, or you could simply not catch a train at all. All three possibilities would cost you time and maybe some frustration along the way, but only one of them will let you start over and pave a new route that makes you question why you doubted yourself in the first place. Will it be an outcome you want each time? Probably not. But will it help you solidify what did and did not work for you? That it will.
Think of trains as opportunities. There will always be another one coming your way. Some with delays and others that will run express but– none that will leave you behind.
Don’t be afraid to catch that next train.You might just surprise yourself
